A Bruneiyuki’s Emotional Baggage!

Changes oh changes. There had been lots of changes in my life for the past weeks. aside from the fact na umalis ako sa trabaho ko, sa nakaka-toxic na production work sa Philippine idol, i’m back sa aking singing career. back to basic ang drama ko.  two weeks ago i enrolled sa center for pop for an advance level training in singing. though i was hesitant at first, still, i decided to pursue it. singing im sure will really be a good teraphy for me to regain ang naloss na confidence sa sarili at makalimutan ang depression sa buhay. of course di ko masisi sarili ko sa mga nangyayari. anong magagawa ko kung minsan natutulala ako. hanggang ngayon bitbit ko pa rin ang bigat ng pagkawala ng mom ko pero thank god im starting to survive and breathe fresh air. masayahin at puno ng sigla’t pangarap. oh well enough of the drama. tama na ang cryfest.

at dahil tapos na hopefully ang cryfest at anxiety moments ko sa buhay, unti unti na rin akong nagiging busy. im really thankful dahil nakapagpahinga ako. as in pahinga na walang pressure at kaguluhan sa buhay. actually last weekend, together with my college friends peluchi and liza, we went to galera. as in puerto galera. the land of party, white sand and of course priceless bliss. siempre kasama yan sa budget.

i must admit the past weeks had been very bad for me. actually hanggang ngayon naman e. mejo me anxiety moments pa rin ako. yung unexplainable fear to things pero dahil im getting busy na din mejo nakakalimutan ko na ang mga bagay bagay that really makes me takot. kahit papaano im beginning to smile and look at things positively. it’s like bringing back the hope and realizing na i have a purpose in life i must accomplish. at the same time, i realized my mom would not be happy kung makikita niya akong nalulungkot. oh well malungkot talaga pero kailangan ko talagang magpakatatag for the people na nagpapakatatag din for me. kaya ngayon, unti unti na akong bumabangon at ineenjoy ang bawat sandali ng aking buhay. i mean di ko naman kailangan magmadali. i’ve accomplished so many things at marami na rin akong taong napasaya. maybe its time na hanapin ko naman ang bagay na magpapasaya sa akin. and that i think is aside from having a love life (hehe), siempre part pa rin ng pagiging masaya ko e ang sundin ang tinitibok ng puso ko. at yon e ang pagkanta. and guess what next friday im bound to audition sa isang lounge in e rod. its called celebrity lounge. if ever makapasa, singer ang drama ko sa buhay. but of course dahil narerealize ko na God has given me the gift of creativity, i would still look for a job na i can utilize my talents. hopefully by the end of the year me work na ako. pero dahil di naman ako nagmamadali ngayon, hinay hinay lang. siguro next week time to job hunt sa kahabaan ng ortigas. actually right now, i wanted a job na monday to fridays lang at hindi masyadong nakakapressure. i know ill find one hoepfully soon. with god’s help, my dreams will all do come true. basta think positive lang. nothing is impossible.

back to my galera story, yes last weekend, nagpunta kami ng galera. though at first mejo scary ako pumunta kasi first time ko at the same time mejo di pa okay ang pakiramdam ko. the fear of having an axxiety is always there. it is more of psychological kasi. the more you think of a panic attack, the greater possibility na aatakihin ka. the effect of such "attack" is panlalamig at kabang di mo maintindihan at bakit ka kinakabahan. how weird pero its true and its happening to me. kakabaliw nga e. all you need to do to overcome it is think positive things and pray. prayers really works. so ayon pray na lang ako habang nasa bus at boat papuntang puerto.

finally at around 7 am we arrived in puerto galera. since it was my first time, i was really overwhelmed sa ganda ng isla.sobrang malayo sa ambiance at pressure ng busy metro manila. sobrang for me this is a perfect place to realx and unwind. talagang kakalmahin ng waves ang isip mo. at ang white sand, hahaplusin ang stressed body mo. talaga namang recommended sa mga taong nakakaeperience ng anxiety moments just like me.

since we arrived ng mga 7 am, we decided na matulog muna for half a day then pagkagising yon nagpaluto kami ng lunch. simpleng lunch lang naman. the after that kakatuwa at kakagulat, we saw jel, broad comm classmate namin nung college. o di ba, of all places dito pa namin siya nakita. so there kuwentuhan at kodakan moments.

aside from the kamustahan, siempre maya maya swimming na kami. on the side mega shopping kami ng pasalubong. no doubt peluchi won the shopping challenge. ako din di nagpatalo sa panic buying. saya eh. at mas masaya makita mong sumasaya ang ibang tao dahil sa pasalubong mo.

our galera experience would not be complete, aside sa beach moments, sand castle making at pagbibilad sa araw (na actually nagtago dahil sa bagyong paeng), well, finally ang virgin sa alak na si earvs (thats me) e nabinyagan na rin. it was so memorable dahil hindi typical "beer" o alak ang tinira ko but its the famous "mindoro sling." the taste was so powerful na talaga naman tinamaan ako hanggang sa kaloob looban. pero di naman ako nalasing. tamang inom lang while kuwentuhan.

oh by the way, nagpakita ako ng skin sa galera. see my friendster pics to prove what im saying.  aside sa pagpapakita ng "hunk" figure ko (hehe) siempre our galera expedition without our master plan of patayin sa sindak ang Gf ni koya. as in koya huwag po huwag po ang eksena. siempre di ko na ikukuwento yon. di siya rated PG. samin na lang yon nina liza at peluch. di ba gerls..hehe

our galera expedition was really memorable. talagang unforgettable.

sana

bumalik ulit kami don. mejo bitin nga lang talaga. bakit? oh well eksakto ba namang dumaong si bagyong paeng sa pilipinas. ang impact, si haring araw nagtago. kaya ang ending walang tan effect na na-achieve.no one can blame liza at peluch kung aalis na ang boat going to batangas port, ang dalawa humahabol pa sa pagbababad. ang saya di ba. buti di kami naiwan.hehe. tamang trip lng.

so there was our galera expedition. sobrang saya. nakakarelax. i promise na babalik ako don.  or maybe next time boracay naman. pero for the mean time ipon muna. one at a time. tamang galaw lang. tamang motivation. i know everything will fall into place. basta my family, friends and God andiyan, ill live a worry free life! lets drink to that.

right now, im very busy studying songs for my upcoming recital. maybe this december. meron pa kaming mall show so another thing na naman yon. singing is something na hindi ko maipagpapalit. this is a thing na talagang gustong gusto ko gawin. pahinga period muna bago magback to school next year. MA time na. media studies. pero if along the way me offer sa network, pagiisipan ko muna. think a hundred times before i say i do. haha. parang kasal. siempre mahirap ng masakal.

ang punchline, will i be the next pinoy pop superstar? abangan.hehe

PS.to all of my friends out there, if matuloy ang aking gig sa celebrity lounge, watch kayo ha. ibang earvs ang makikita niyo don. thanks.

Changes oh changes. There had been lots of changes in my life for the past weeks. aside from the fact na umalis ako sa trabaho ko, sa nakaka-toxic na production work sa Philippine idol, i’m back sa aking singing career. back to basic ang drama ko.  two weeks ago i enrolled sa center for pop for an advance level training in singing. though i was hesitant at first, still, i decided to pursue it. singing im sure will really be a good teraphy for me to regain ang naloss na confidence sa sarili at makalimutan ang depression sa buhay. of course di ko masisi sarili ko sa mga nangyayari. anong magagawa ko kung minsan natutulala ako. hanggang ngayon bitbit ko pa rin ang bigat ng pagkawala ng mom ko pero thank god im starting to survive and breathe fresh air. masayahin at puno ng sigla’t pangarap. oh well enough of the drama. tama na ang cryfest.

at dahil tapos na hopefully ang cryfest at anxiety moments ko sa buhay, unti unti na rin akong nagiging busy. im really thankful dahil nakapagpahinga ako. as in pahinga na walang pressure at kaguluhan sa buhay. actually last weekend, together with my college friends peluchi and liza, we went to galera. as in puerto galera. the land of party, white sand and of course priceless bliss. siempre kasama yan sa budget.

i must admit the past weeks had been very bad for me. actually hanggang ngayon naman e. mejo me anxiety moments pa rin ako. yung unexplainable fear to things pero dahil im getting busy na din mejo nakakalimutan ko na ang mga bagay bagay that really makes me takot. kahit papaano im beginning to smile and look at things positively. it’s like bringing back the hope and realizing na i have a purpose in life i must accomplish. at the same time, i realized my mom would not be happy kung makikita niya akong nalulungkot. oh well malungkot talaga pero kailangan ko talagang magpakatatag for the people na nagpapakatatag din for me. kaya ngayon, unti unti na akong bumabangon at ineenjoy ang bawat sandali ng aking buhay. i mean di ko naman kailangan magmadali. i’ve accomplished so many things at marami na rin akong taong napasaya. maybe its time na hanapin ko naman ang bagay na magpapasaya sa akin. and that i think is aside from having a love life (hehe), siempre part pa rin ng pagiging masaya ko e ang sundin ang tinitibok ng puso ko. at yon e ang pagkanta. and guess what next friday im bound to audition sa isang lounge in e rod. its called celebrity lounge. if ever makapasa, singer ang drama ko sa buhay. but of course dahil narerealize ko na God has given me the gift of creativity, i would still look for a job na i can utilize my talents. hopefully by the end of the year me work na ako. pero dahil di naman ako nagmamadali ngayon, hinay hinay lang. siguro next week time to job hunt sa kahabaan ng ortigas. actually right now, i wanted a job na monday to fridays lang at hindi masyadong nakakapressure. i know ill find one hoepfully soon. with god’s help, my dreams will all do come true. basta think positive lang. nothing is impossible.

back to my galera story, yes last weekend, nagpunta kami ng galera. though at first mejo scary ako pumunta kasi first time ko at the same time mejo di pa okay ang pakiramdam ko. the fear of having an axxiety is always there. it is more of psychological kasi. the more you think of a panic attack, the greater possibility na aatakihin ka. the effect of such "attack" is panlalamig at kabang di mo maintindihan at bakit ka kinakabahan. how weird pero its true and its happening to me. kakabaliw nga e. all you need to do to overcome it is think positive things and pray. prayers really works. so ayon pray na lang ako habang nasa bus at boat papuntang puerto.

finally at around 7 am we arrived in puerto galera. since it was my first time, i was really overwhelmed sa ganda ng isla.sobrang malayo sa ambiance at pressure ng busy metro manila. sobrang for me this is a perfect place to realx and unwind. talagang kakalmahin ng waves ang isip mo. at ang white sand, hahaplusin ang stressed body mo. talaga namang recommended sa mga taong nakakaeperience ng anxiety moments just like me.

since we arrived ng mga 7 am, we decided na matulog muna for half a day then pagkagising yon nagpaluto kami ng lunch. simpleng lunch lang naman. the after that kakatuwa at kakagulat, we saw jel, broad comm classmate namin nung college. o di ba, of all places dito pa namin siya nakita. so there kuwentuhan at kodakan moments.

aside from the kamustahan, siempre maya maya swimming na kami. on the side mega shopping kami ng pasalubong. no doubt peluchi won the shopping challenge. ako din di nagpatalo sa panic buying. saya eh. at mas masaya makita mong sumasaya ang ibang tao dahil sa pasalubong mo.

our galera experience would not be complete, aside sa beach moments, sand castle making at pagbibilad sa araw (na actually nagtago dahil sa bagyong paeng), well, finally ang virgin sa alak na si earvs (thats me) e nabinyagan na rin. it was so memorable dahil hindi typical "beer" o alak ang tinira ko but its the famous "mindoro sling." the taste was so powerful na talaga naman tinamaan ako hanggang sa kaloob looban. pero di naman ako nalasing. tamang inom lang while kuwentuhan.

oh by the way, nagpakita ako ng skin sa galera. see my friendster pics to prove what im saying.  aside sa pagpapakita ng "hunk" figure ko (hehe) siempre our galera expedition without our master plan of patayin sa sindak ang Gf ni koya. as in koya huwag po huwag po ang eksena. siempre di ko na ikukuwento yon. di siya rated PG. samin na lang yon nina liza at peluch. di ba gerls..hehe

our galera expedition was really memorable. talagang unforgettable.

sana

bumalik ulit kami don. mejo bitin nga lang talaga. bakit? oh well eksakto ba namang dumaong si bagyong paeng sa pilipinas. ang impact, si haring araw nagtago. kaya ang ending walang tan effect na na-achieve.no one can blame liza at peluch kung aalis na ang boat going to batangas port, ang dalawa humahabol pa sa pagbababad. ang saya di ba. buti di kami naiwan.hehe. tamang trip lng.

so there was our galera expedition. sobrang saya. nakakarelax. i promise na babalik ako don.  or maybe next time boracay naman. pero for the mean time ipon muna. one at a time. tamang galaw lang. tamang motivation. i know everything will fall into place. basta my family, friends and God andiyan, ill live a worry free life! lets drink to that.

right now, im very busy studying songs for my upcoming recital. maybe this december. meron pa kaming mall show so another thing na naman yon. singing is something na hindi ko maipagpapalit. this is a thing na talagang gustong gusto ko gawin. pahinga period muna bago magback to school next year. MA time na. media studies. pero if along the way me offer sa network, pagiisipan ko muna. think a hundred times before i say i do. haha. parang kasal. siempre mahirap ng masakal.

ang punchline, will i be the next pinoy pop superstar? abangan.hehe

PS.to all of my friends out there, if matuloy ang aking gig sa celebrity lounge, watch kayo ha. ibang earvs ang makikita niyo don. thanks.