Missin Mama ( repost from multply)
January 30, 2005 - my mom joined our dear Lord in heaven. It was the saddest day in my life and for my family.
It’s been two years now since my mom passed away and honestly, I really miss her. I miss her smiles, her embrace, her sweet words, her comforting advices, her melodious singing voice, her prayers and guidance before we go to school or work, her after the sunday mass suman and puto, her pasalubongs, her generousity, her healing hands, her charisma,her positive outlook in life, her strong character, her all-out support to our interests and hobbies, her infectious laughter, her bestselling stories, and most of all, her undying love for each and everyone of us.
I know that when God took her from our family two years ago, God had a purpose. I was surprised. I got confused. I was left in pain. I grieved a lot to the point that I even got depressed. It’s as if my dreams were all shattered because my number one fan, consultant, and bestfriend left me in this world - clueless and young. And then eventually, from denial, I slowly accepted my mom’s passing. It takes months and even a year for me to recover. Every week seemed to be a year of loss. It’s really hard and painful but with the help and comfort from my family, I was able to stand up again, dream, and eventually live to make the best out of life and make my mom proud.
Losing her in our family was so devasting. She was the life of our family. She was the binding element. She was our thread. But her passing also changed the way our family deal with each other and to God. We became closer.
My mom was my constant companion in all my endeavors. She was always there to cheer me up, make the biggest appluase in competitions i’m part of, and be the first to boast to her friends what achievements I got - be it in academics or in singing. In short, she inspired me to be the best I can be and made me to become a good person.
My mom made me a better person. Her generosity was so infectious and it moved me. She proved to us that our real treasures in this world are not the material things we acquire but rather the simple and good deeds we make for others. Her ctive participation in any outreach or medical mission in our church, her unselfish service, and her dedication to reach out to the needy are reasons why I really idolize her. She was an inspiration to her friends and a source of strength for me.
My mom taught me to be closer to God. She helped me find the way towards contentment with our dear Lord.She ingrained to me the significance of God in our life. Teaching me to pray the rosary was her first step in making that happen. And I thank her for that because through prayers, I became more stronger and positive in life despite all the challenges.
I know that my mom is already happy and at peace with our dear Lord. I know that she’s up there watching our family. She may be physically gone but she will always be forever in my heart.
With the bubbly personality I have, maybe some would say that I have fully recovered from my mom’s passing. Yes, I feel better now but the feeling of loss will always be there. It’s as if there’s something lacking. Actually, just to cope up with the often visit of loneliness, I choose to lessen reminiscing our moments together because the impact is really ripping my heart. By simply looking at her pictures, tears start to fall down on my cheeks. And it only shows how up to now, I really miss her. I miss the days we would surpise her on her birthday, I miss celebrating mother’s day, and most especially, I miss our vacations and picnics with her around preparing everything- from food to fun activities.
I do not question God. For the past two years, I have already trashed all the questions in my mind. I have fully accepted mom’s fate and I thank her for everything. Giving her flowers and offering her prayers are some of our ways to thank all the good things she did for us.
Afterall, my mom really never left me alone, rather, she left me with a big heart. I am here to continue her legacy and show the world she brought into the world a god-fearing and talented person. Thank you mama!
On the other hand, I know that If she’s alive, she’ll be very proud of me getting this job from Brunei and so I offer her this wonderful gift from God. Let me again make her proud.
Mama, I miss you and I love you!
