A Bruneiyuki’s Emotional Baggage!

      

Before a new year ushers, let me share with all of you some of my most-thought about new year’s dreams, fantasies, and desires. In short, my new year’s resolution!

            For sure next year, I’ll now be working as an OFW. For those who still don’t know about my newest career move, I’m already hired as a copywriter in an Ad Agency in Brunei and I’m just waiting for my contract visa to be sent this end of December and all my processing is expected to finish on the last week of january which means my plane ticket will be given to me on the first week of Febraury. So obviously, the remaining weeks of my stay here will be allotted for my family, friends, relatives. The despidida party is still under negotiation. Actually, I don’t plan to have a full blown despidida party. I just want to make it segmentized. Meaning, an intimate dinner with my family and relatives, night out with some of my closest friends, and more night outs. I think this will be the best and practical(thinking of the expenses) way to at least lessen the feeling of “missing” those people whom I will left behind as I embark on a new journey called bruneiyuki.

            Well, next year, I plan to sustain my healthy lifestyle – eat less and more exercise. Nothing beats exercise! Simply put, take good care of myself!

            In terms of my personal love life, we’ll let’s see. I’m not searching because I know there’s someone out there meant for me! (wishing!)

            With my finances, I plan to spend less and save more. I trying to be serious on having my first million before I hit 30. Hopefully that happens because this blog immortalizes that promise to fulfill. No pressure at all!Hahaha. Beyond that, I promise to help my family especially now that my Father is retiring from work.

            Internalize and apply the advantage of haggling or finding the best buys – hot items at rock-bottom prices!

            I promise to never ever ever ever (infinity) to be late again. Of course I should not because in Brunei,3 consecutive late mean salary deduction (as stated in the job offer emailed to me by my employer).

             Establish constant connection among family and friends through chat, friendster, multiply, or any website that may aide me in achieving this goal. I’m sure this will help me combat “homesickness.”

            I also plan to learn a new skill especially now that I’m venturing into advertising. Perhaps, graphics design or computer animation can be an option.

            Master the nitty-gritty of client presentation especially in powerpoint or any kind of presentation that may solicit oh’s and ah’s!

            If there’s a time, revise the theatre play I’m writing. It’s about my favorite topic: the decaying system behind the sugar-coated and glorified mass media.

            Donate some money to charity as a way of thanking the Lord for all the blessings he have provided me and my family.

            Share my talent – singing, acting, dancing, writing, everything!

            Forgive the people who hurt me in 2007 (actually zero percent because I’m no longer working in a television network!hahahaha)

            Pursue my recent interest in photography. Exploring the beauty of Brunei is a brilliant idea but taking pictures of myself is more brilliant as a take-off point of this new found career in photography!hahahaha!

            Hopefully, If I’m already adjusted in my work, have a short course in directing.

            Work harder and pray harder. Be good in everything I do and lessen expectations.

            Focus and Fight!

Always thank God!

            Lastly, one thing I wish is good health for me and my family.

            I’m just keeping everything simple, manageable, and doable. As long as I have God, my family, and my friends with me, everything will be all right! Happy new year to all!

           Most of my friends know that I was in the lowest point of my life last year. First, I was still mourning on the passing of my mom. I missed my mom very much and all I can do was stare at her pictures and talk to her through prayers.  It was in those lonely nights that I seeked her embrace, her kisses, and her sweet words that so powerful and inspiring. However, reality bites, she’s no longer “physically present” to comfort me. Its just now that I’ve slowly started to accept that though she’s physically gone but will always be with me spiritually- here inside my heart.Likewise, our good memories will always be my source of inspiration in striving for the best in life.

            The second root of my depression was landing jobless. Actually, half jobless.  Here’s the story. Last year I was doing freelance writing. For everyone’s information, freelance job is very different from the standardized office job. If an office job has an eight to five working hours, freelance job gives the freelancer the benefit or luxury (for some) the power to manipulate his/her own working hour. A freelancer can work anytime and anywhere to finish a project. However, there are also client meetings, deadlines, and revisions on the project to deal with. Another fact about freelance jobs is that it is very dependent on connections. Simply put, if you want to venture into a job carefree as a bird, you must know your connections or those people you’ve worked in the past that may aide you in finding bigtime clients and thus raking in profit. Talent, creativity, and focus are just important elements in becoming successful in this business, however, one must also be “madiskarte” in finding clients, delivering requirements, and producing best quality outputs. Banking on that capability, a freelance may be assured to support oneself especially in dry seasons. Likewise, master the art and science of saving money and being thrifty. In my case, thanks to some of my friends in the industry, I was able to survive in my “real” job hunting months. But of course, what is frustrating about handling a freelance job is the feeling of like begging for alms in dry season and the discrimination thrown by some bitches and bastards that “freelance job” is synonymous with being a “BUM.” I’m sorry but I don’t care what these people have to say. What is important is my doing my best to embellish my resume, hone my craft in writing, practice dealing with various clients, and producing the best script I can. Afterall, I will benefit all of these experiences and not those people who looked down on me. Oh, before I forget, especially now in this information age and globalized world, for freelaners like me, the use of technology in tracking clients is very efficient. Cellular phones have even revolutionized my capacity to reach many clients and be updated all the time. It also aided me in scavenging “rakets” and future connections. Sadly, though freelance writing may sound so sweet and interesting, sadly, its not I expected it to be.

            As series of depressing events piled up, I started to blame myself and made self pity. With all my achievements in college and what experiences I earned from work, I started to be hard on myself. I was feeling that I don’t deserve to end up “half-jobless” because I was not irresponsible and incompetent. Then it hit me the most when I diverted my attention on sending resumes  to different companies via internet. I was back in the streets of makati and Ortigas distributing my resumes like hot pan cakes. Believe me, If i’ll total all the resume I gave in those days, probably, I’ll have more that a hundred. It was really painful. Then came all of these left and right job interviews. Some companies were offering me competitive packages plus a promising career path, however, I declined in most offers because my priorities had changed. It was in november last year that I promised myself to pursue my long overdue plan of taking up my masters degree. Thus, the only farthest point I reached in some of my application to different companies was on the final interview. My school’s schedule was the biggest consideration in taking jobs which were mostly an 8 to 5 job. If we all know, master classes start at either 4 or 5:30 pm and if I’m coming from Makati, I would be so late in class. In the end, I said no to most companies.My father became my constant adviser in dealing with job offers, salaries, and pushing me to have more patience and believe that God will give me the perfect job in the right time.

            Resigning on Philippine Idol was another root of my last year’s anger. I don’t know if I was so immature then or just stupid to not consider the fact that I needed a job or literally money to survive in this materialistic world. Everyone knows I love production or mass media as much as myself. However, that view had changed and for a time diminished when I realized I was no longer happy and felt like harrassed in a very unsystematic program in a small network. Of course I had a lot of friends in that company but the system and the people running the business were enough reasons for me to fight for what I believe was true. Sadly, that “belief” pushed me to live a life without a career. Literally, I was off tracked. Instead of writing scripts, I was writing sad narrations on journal.  Instead of viewing VTRs, I was viewing how to direct my life and achieve back my dreams in life. And instead of living my dream of becoming a successful director or writer someday, I was inhaling the life of a house buddy or a bum which I never imagined would happen in my life. Realizations strike me, maybe it was time for me to slow down a bit and reflect on what I really like to do in life. I know in a way I had proven what I really got and what I can do, but it was in those depressing moments that I felt I was useless in this world. Thank God, committing suicide did not enter my mind not even once. Instead, I helped myself stand up and found myself in my own race. Sooner, I was back in my old self – passionate, driven, and focused.

            2006 ended and I was so certain that I will take my masters degree in UP in 2007, no more, no less. Starting my masters degree was my top priority. God heared me. I took action. Sooner, I was back in the comforting yet challenging arms of the academe.

            January, I was doing freelance writing and I was so engrossed in hunting a job. Sadly, my dream jobs didn’t hunt me such as working in a big ad agency. But I never lost hope. I was 24/7 searching for a job in the internet and was even out as early as 8 am in Makati and Ortigas giving my resumes. The experience was like doing a job of a sales agent in malls distributing flyers to sell condo units or houses. Of course, sometimes I felt like giving up. Its like I’m degrading myself. And sometimes, to ease the pain, all I would do was text my friend saying that “napapagod na ako. Kailan ba ako makakahanap ng trabahong para sa akin.” Then she would reply, “ano ka ba herbs. Huwag kang susuko. Makakahanap ka rin.” Then came afternoon, I’m so exhausted sitting in the bus. And you know, I must admit, I was afraid that some of my batchmates would see me and will ask me the simple question of “kamusta” followed by the hard-hitting “san ka ngayon” which we all know must be answered with the name of your current company (should be bigtime. Multinational level) plus your position (must be leveled on your age and experience. In short supervisorial level). Thank God, my batchmates were all busy carving their own supervisorial careers in their bigtime companies. And here I am in the a bus stucked in traffic reflecting which way I want to go.

            The month of love, February, came in. I was excited yet anxious. I took up the entrance examination at the College of mass communication UP Diliman. I took up Masters in Media Studies, major in Broadcasting. Then, I said to myself, finally, I’m going back to my comfort zone and I’ll be on track again. I was very focused and desperate in taking the test. I even read some books on mass media, advertising, and popular culture few weeks before the examination date.

            Luckily,I passed the entrance test and I had my panel interview. Then, I started to process my entrance papers in April up to May. The flame of hope sparkled and I said to myself, I will dream again and make that dream happen.

            As the flowers of May bloom, I was ripe for the school opening.  Though I knew that I don’t have a stable job to support my finances in school, I’m confident that my savings and the money I got from my mom would be sufficient enough to have my first semester done. I was constanly checking my bank accounts and budgetting everyday expenses that should last for five months if ever I won’t have rakets.

            It was also in May that I had a job interview at Dusit Hotel. The company was named IM graphics design studio and I was applying for a copywriter post. I was surprised because I never thought that the company was not a local one but based in Brunei. So if ever i’ll be hired, its going to be direct hire. No agencies needed to mediate between me and my employer. The interview ended and I went home. Though I’m confident that “hopefully” I’ll make it, I just left everything to God. I know that I gave my best and I have presented all the best portfolio of scripts I had produced over the past years.

            I was back in UP in June. I was living the university life again. I was doing research in the library, reports in class, weekly reflection papers, and finals. The experience was worth it because I realized that afterall the depression, I still possess the passion, dedication, and driving spirit that I thought was corrupted in the past. Happily, all of those “strengths” that made me succeed in my college years were again reincarnated - alive and kicking. Likewise, I trashed my anxieties and self pity, and now moving forward to a a more meaningful ball game.

            On the side, in the month of July, as a birthday gift,my father treated us to Palawan. It was such a relaxing get away. And to double the ecstacy, days before we went to Palawan, I got a call from Asian Center for Foreign Languages telling me that they are hiring me as a part-time language instructor and will be starting on July 9. I jumped for joy because finally, I’ll have a “job” which is flexible to fit not only with my freelance writing, but will also suit my masters classes schedule.

 

            Without batting an eyelash, fresh from Palawan, the next day, I conducted my classes in Asian Center for Foreign Languages. My first student was a chinese named Michael Chien. He’s a business man.  It was a very different job. I was not holding a camera, not writing scripts, not conducting interviews, writing press releases, booking sponsors, marketing a show, or mingling with stars, instead, I was called teacher Earvin, holding a book, a white board marker, making exams, checking exams, grading a student, and respected not harrassed. Sooner, I embraced this job and I did not noticed,  now, I’m almost 6 months with ACFL. Well, one thing that I love about teaching is the fact that teaching is like performing on stage. My student is my spectator and I am the performer who has the infectious and animated actions to sustain entertainment and interest!

            

In UP, I became close with some of my classmates. We even formed a group dubbed as “alpha philcoa” because of our frequent dinner and chit chat sessions at any Philcoa fast food chains after class. It was in those moments that I realized it was so fulfilling to make people happy by just sharing to them what you’ve gone through and what efforts you’ve made to combat such death-defying and sanity-gripping challenges. Plus, endless laughters sweetened every conversation. I will really never forget Alpha Philcoa!

            Because of my media theory and media literacy class, all of my anger on mass media and the people behind it healed. At first, I was breathing hate. I was despising various television programs – kapamilya, kapuso, mostly locals! But through theories and its proper applications, I was able to compose my thoughts on how to be critical in analyzing my mass media diet. The various class discussions enkindled on me my dream to further work hard and hopefully become a professor of mass communication in future. Actually, I was inspired when one of my classmates in our theory class told me that I should teach mass comm because I would not be the typical teacher/ professor who would sugar coat the decaying and filthy industry. And you know, that was my intention why I would want to teach mass comm. I know that I can share my talent, passion, and creativity, but on top of that, I can be powerful to enlighten and crack mass media’s myths – be it on or off cam, as far as ethics is concerned. We can’t deny that beyond creativity and commitment, our mass media are business enterprises. Simply put, thanks to the hundreds of theoriests who enlightened me and made me critical “again.”

            Came September, while busy finishing some reports and papers in school, I received a shocking email stating that IM graphics design studio had decided to hire me as a copywriter. Thus, after reading offer and with my father’s approval, without hesitation, I immediately replied YES to them. And so, I became so very busy in processing all my papers needed for my employment abroad. It was in those moments I thought God was offering me an option. It’s just up to me wether to take this road he’s showing or pursue the road I set. With the help of my father and some professors saying that opportunities knock only once, I took the road God had showed me – fo a change, be a copywriter in Brunei.

            In October, I was in Quezon City processing my NBI clearance. I was back in the frontyard of ABS-CBN and ABC-5 running after to some bosses whose signature is as valuable as gold as a prerequisite for my certificate of employment. Then I renewed my passport. Finally, I was able to finish every document my employer was asking from me before the deadline. Thus, upon completion, I paid 915 pesos and sent all my papers to Brunei. Sooner, my employer informed me they already recieved my documents and would be processed immediately.

            The first semester ended and came November, I filed my LOA. It was my first time to file an LOA. I have to file an LOA because my contract in Brunei is two years and thus if ever I plan to finish my masters, I can still continue it. However, I have to renew my LOA after a year. Well, maybe I’ll just ask my brother to do it for me (with talent fee for doing a favor!hahaha).

            In November, I went full time in my teaching job. Aside doing everyday class discussion,the enjoyable part was the immersion activities we had. I was able to visit Corregidor, Intramuros, Villa Escudero, Banaue Rice Terraces, Baguio, and Sagada. It was in those trips I fully understand the richness our culture and traditions as Filipinos. Of course these immersion activities were all free and I was even paid for the “time” I was assisting my student in immersing himself in various places. You can visit my multiply site for more detailed and evidences of these immersion escapades.

            The cold December month stepped in and I received an email saying that my papers in Brunei were approved. My employer told me that they would be able to email my papers on the late next week. My emotions are mixed. I am happy because I feel blessed. With all the sacrifices, job hunting, depression, and self pity, here I am, given a very rare and once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to prove myself once again. On the other hand, I feel sad because a month from now, I’ll be leaving my family and friends behind. Of course, the only motivation I have is that I’m doing this for them and for my own growth – to be independe and earn my first million before I hit 30(as if!).But honestly, I’m really looking forward to living an independent life and so I may become more mature and tough in facing life’s obstacles. I know that this blessing is God given and so I must be grateful. As soon as I get my contract visa, i’ll offer a thanksgiving mass. I promise that.

            Besides the glorious events in my life, there were also some sad events that shook me. First is the passing of Ana’s mom. Ana is one of my closest’s friends in ABS-CBN. I was totally saddened because I was very close to her mom.  Plus, two of my best professors in UP passed away. They were sir Monico Atienza, my professor in FIL 155 (Wika, Kultura at Lipunan) and Sir Rene Villanueva, my professor in MP 174 (Pagsulat ng Dula). But I know, they are now happy and at peace reunited with our dear Lord. I know how it feels to lose someone and I offer my sincerest prayers that may aide their journey towards eternal life.

            This year, I’ve been very grateful also to accept an award from my highschool alma mater. As part of my highschool alma mater, School of Saint Anthony’s 25^th Foundation Celebration, I was recognized as one of the 25 alumni who excelled in their chosen fields. I received an award titled “Outstanding Alumni in the field of Music Media.” And I offer this award to my family and friends who have always believed in me and supported me all the way.

             Truly, life is unpredictable and all what we can do best is learn to adjust to life’s erratic nature. Though we may be bombarded with sadness, frustrations, misery, or even depression, we must not let all of these evil elements pull us down. Rather, we must fight for ourselves by believing we can champion whatever kind of obstacles block our way towards success. Plus, we must not forget God and thank him for continuously providing us strength and guiding us in this battle called life. Also, our family and friends who are always there in our sad and happy times.

            And as year 2008 ushers, as long as my faith to God is with me, I have nothing to fear. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all those experiences, that is proving that ain’t no mountain is high enough as long as we dream, take action, and fight to reach our dreams.Likewise, we must never lose hope and must always believe in God. Thanks to my family and dear friends for bringing back the roaring and soaring Earvs!So be it!

I am speechless. I just want to rest my mind.

I am sleepless. I had only three hours of sleep last night. I was anxious on so many things.

But I am so energetic! Ironic, isn’t it?

A while ago, I had all the energy in the world to practice the song titled "Wind Beneathe My Wings." Actually, it’s the song that I personally chose to sing for tomorrow night’s last mass for Tita Nilda’s funeral on Saturday. FYI, Tita Nilda is the mom of Ana, one of my closest friends in ABS-CBN. Ana has been my friend for more than three years now. Our friendship started when we had the chance to work with each other in ABS-CBN, to be specific in At Home Ka Dito; she was a researcher and I was a segment producer/writer. Because of our loud, bubbly and crazy personality, no doubt, we clicked and became super friends. The bond was even solidified and bloomed enormously with simple “pagtambay” in their house near ABS-CBN. It was in those tambay/chikahan/food trip sessions and dropping of furniture items that will be used for the makeover shoot that I met her mom Tita Nilda. Tita Nilda had a very big heart and a beautiful soul. In fact, based on my experiences, seeing her and talking with her was very similar having my mom beside me. Honestly, she resembles some of my mom’s personality such as being cheerful, generous, and that all authentic "mommy-reffic" hospitality! I will never forget the days she would offer me sweets! On the side, my kilometric and short conversations with Tita pushed me to understand where Ana’s strong, independent, principled, and very jovial outlook in life was coming. Undoubtedly, Ana’s much-loved personality is all because of Tita Nilda’s disciplined rearing and abundant love.

As days, months and years passed, Tita NIlda and I became so close especially when my mom passed away. Without saying a word, she embraced me and made me feel how I’m very welcome to be part of her family. In fact, she was always present in comforting me and motivating me to be strong and face life’s battles. She also sent me quirky text messages to lighten up my devastated and depressed soul. Really, she was like my second mom who never missed a second guiding and strengthening me in my loneliest days. And so, with her passing, I felt very sad but in a way relieved that finally she will be reunited with our dear Lord in heaven where there’s no more pain but only happiness and eternal peace.

So, it just right, to repay all of the good and unforgettable things she did for her loved ones. Thus, with a hundred percent effort and as requested by Ana, I will be singing one special song for her. Actually, as early as now, I’m already feeling the avalanche of sadness and flashback of memories that might come along the way. However, what is keeping me firm is my will of acceptance and happiness that at least Tita Nilda is now happy and at peace.

Clearly, tomorrow will be a tough day but one thing is certain, I’m ready to serenade that one good soul who treated me like her own child and shared with me a piece of her enlightening and inspiring life.

Late afternoon, supposedly, I was to conduct the usual and "formal" class setting with my student. Unfortunately, the traditional classroom set-up and teaching treatment was changed when my student started conversing with some of the office staff which I thought his way of conveying to me that “hey, I really need a break and should start practicing what I’ve learned since day 1 in class.” Though there was no actual verbal agreement, I agreed to it and was very amenable because I won’t just have the luxury to "at least" relax my "throat" from talking and babbling, but also, I thought it could be an effective and interactive way for foreign students like Fred, my student and a US military guy, to learn and practice his Tagalog and eventually absorb it very well. And so, starting from 1 pm up to 5 pm, Fred was talking, and even flirting with the girls. I was just there guiding him on his vocabulary, translating every Filipino word the girls uttered, and helping him construct answers to various questions.

The interaction between the girls, my student and I was very interesting. We opened the conversation by throwing "getting-to-know each other questions." The girls were laughing and I was the loudest. I can’t help myself especially if my student would directly translate words like "cup cake" to "tasang keyk," "chicken sandwich" to "manok na tinapay," "what’s up" to "anong itaas," and my favorite "how sweet" to "paanong matamis!" With all of these words, I can’t help but advice my student to stop murdering the Filipino language coz we don’t do directly translation to “all” English words. In the end, my student obeyed and again picked up his spirit and created "out-of-this-world" questions. I was just there correcting his sentence structures and helping him understood what the people around him were uttering. Successfully, we consumed 4 hours making simple "slumbook" type of questions to crafting opinionated and vindictive statements.

One of the most interesting topics that I enjoyed most today is our conversation about the differences between the Filipino and American families’ values and beliefs. Actually, the topic was brought up when my student shared his thoughts on finding a girl who could possibly become his girlfriend or be his future partner. FYI, my student, age 43, a US military, divorced, has two children, is looking for "young" girls who could give him "pleasures." I just don’t know what kind of "pleasures" he is after. But one thing is for sure, he is on the look out for an ideal woman. And with regards to his qualifications or standards, according to him, he values on attitude, loyalty and honesty very much than physical beauty. And with those words, he slowly unveiled his sensational and heart warming stories of love. Through his storytelling, we knew that he had a Filipina girlfriend in 2002, 2006 and up to present who were all (in his words) young, immature, and inconsistent. He also affirmed that the immature attitude and erratic behavior were the main reasons of all his past break-ups. On the side, he also mentioned that he had a girlfriend who was a "cook" in a GRO club which made us surprised - a stereotypical scenario of a US military man dealing or engaging with women in night clubs. And so coming from that stereotypical imaging, we gave the most "hard-hitting" questions to really dig and know what he is “genuinely” up to. Eventually, the talk about the family surfaced.

Fred shared his views on some Filipino family values such as on the "utang na loob," the close family ties and the role of the eldest child in the family who "normally" plays the role of a breadwinner in the family because of the parent’s financial instability or severe poverty.

First, Fred told me that just like in US, they also have close family ties but not as "close" as we have. He said that the sole responsibility of the parents is to send their children to school so their children will be equipped with good education and soon land in a good paying which would sustain them and aide them survive in this world. But once their children reach the legal age of 18, the children are now compelled to be independent. Obviously, once the schooling of their children ends, the support from the parents also ends. On the other hand, here in the Philippines, based on his observation with the family of his "ex-filipina" girlfriends, even though the children is already 18 or married and had his/her own family, they are still dependent on their parents. Fred also added that in Korea, as an old tradition, the eldest child, married or single is obliged to live with his parents until her/his parents passing. He/She then inherits the house.

Second, Fred said that in US, the parents work hard so they can support their children finish school. But, they don’t just work for their children, working also functions as source of stability when they get old. He specifically emphasized that, US parents don’t send their children to school and soon land in a job so that their children could support them when they get old. US parents, in fact, give their children sound and competitive education so that their children can be independent. On the side, according to Fred’s observation, the Filipino parents send their children to school not only for their children to acquire a good and advanced life but more importantly, to be able to help them when they get old and the rest of the family - especially on financial aspects. In this context, he mentioned about how "utang na loob" as a Filipino family value can be both weighed as positive and negative. Positive in the sense that there is presence of commitment and support among family members which strengthen family relations, however, can also be viewed negatively because it impairs some family members reach their full potential or maximum capacity in living an independent and progressive life especially in the case of the breadwinner. Zooming in at the situation of the breadwinner of the family, obviously, he/she is enslaved by an invincible "obligation" which will totally chain him/her in giving the "good" life or "independence" or even "growth" he/she wants to achieve, for a time or worst, forever.

As evidence, Fred told us his ex-filipina girlfriend’s sacrifices and frustrations as a breadwinner of the family. Specifically, Fred shared how his girlfriend, the cook in a GRO club, helped her family, financed his brother’s education, and support every financial needs of her family. Sadly, in the end, her brother dropped out from school and even got his girlfriend pregnant. On the side, while my student was continuously saying all of his ex-GF’s tainted dreams, shattered hopes and depressing experiences, I reflected on how lucky I am to have responsible parents who really gave me and my brother’s each and every need. And up to now, my Dad never obliged us to take part in paying any bills (electric, water, phone, etc.). But of course my Dad always reiterates to us that we must save our money for our future and that if we want something, we should work hard for it. Going back to Fred’s narration, I realized how fortunate I am.

Then we came to talk about being responsible in handling finances. Actually, I was amazed when Fred told me that when he was in my age, he really never thought of saving and being focused in life until he reached his 30s because honestly, I’m a little “spendthrift.” Going back to his words, He got married when he was only 23 years old and wasn’t aware and know what he truly wants to become in life. All he knew then was to swipe his credit card a gazillion times, party all night long, and flirt and have sex with girls. Until he realized he needed to shape up. And while he was sharing all of those thoughts, I came to absorb some of his most striking advices on money. He said to me that even at a young age, I should save and prepare for my future. He also advised me to at least save 10 percent of my salary (his mother’s advice to him) and know exactly what I need and not be hypnotized by my wants. Of course, there’s a big difference between wants and needs. I think, wants maybe are forms of cravings or spur of the moment interests which cause impulsive buying and needs are "important" and basic needs and are mostly anchored to long-term goals. He also emphasized that lifestyle affects our control of our wants and needs. It’s like even though you are earning 20,000 pesos a month but if you don’t know how to differentiate and control your wants and needs, soon, you’ll end up penniless. Sadly, it is a reality most people are experiencing right now. It’s a biting reality we young adults are battling and coping for the longest time. I suppose, it is now time to discipline ourselves and monitor our finances strictly. Fred is right. I’m not getting any younger and soon, my age will jump out of the calendar.

In the end, some thoughts were encrypted on my mind:

First, I should be responsible with my finances. Saving 10 percent of my salary every month is a good practice.

Second, cultural differences emanate in how we view life. It is no doubt that American and Filipino Families are very much alike especially on aspects of values and beliefs such as utang-na-loob, close family ties, parents responsibilities, and siblings roles.

Third, it is a "stereotypical" image but “authentic” reality that old American guys look for young Filipinas to be their long-time partners. Fred has been very engrossed using the internet especially on chatting because it helps him find his "ideal" girl in a "virtual" world who could provide him "pleasures" (whatever would that be). Actually, I’m planning to expound this topic the next time we meet. hahaha

Fourth, some men like my student are experiencing a crisis called “mid-life crisis”. According to Fred, men his age are being enslaved by their anxiety to age alone (not financially of course). Plus, it is in their 40’s that men ( I don’t know if this "theory" applies to others) searche for things that will not remind them of old age but rather will validate and reinforce their imaginary "youthful" state. Obviously, most of them are very interested on dating with young girls, possessing hip and trendy cars, experimenting on sports, ectcetera or things that they might not enjoyed when they were young.

And lastly, there will always be a meeting point beyond our cultural differences. Though we may be divided by our views, values, opinions, perspectives or even objectives in life molded by subjectivity, in the end, we are all humans who endlessly comply or deviate from the norms or standards of the society. All we need is respect that differences and accept that there is no right or wrong answer whatever language we may opt to use. In the end, we are still the master of our lives. We are the author, the speaker or even the writer who has the power to put "the end" on every chapter of our complicated yet trailblazing lives!

Honestly, I just can’t wait for another mind-boggling sharing on love, family, money, or sex perhaps! Hahaha

Literally, I had a very sweet day today.I did not only consumed 4 goldilocks classic polvoron, but also extended by fattening pleasure with the staff of my school in Ortigas. Actually, I bought six cupcakes from Gonuts Donuts not because I want to satisfy such personal craving enslaving my appetite but rather because I planned to use it as a peace offering to the staff who witnessed my childish acts yesterday. Honestly, because I was so annoyed with the traffic and with the hundreds of people swarming the MRT making no way for the air to pass, I ended up so hot headed and even irritated when I came in the office and resulted to unpleasant actions ( I suppose this attitude is a residue of my post-traumatic television production experience which I’m trying to get rid for the longest time.hahahaha. In short, yesterday was my "diva" day!). So, I thought, the best way to heal or fix the damage I had made the other day was to bring cupcakes to sweeten the once bitter scenario. Truly, the cupcakes were so effective in breaking the ice! It did not only helped me redeem myself. It also restored the family-like atmosphere in the school as well! But of course, coming from that shocking outburst of emotions,starting today, I promise myself to control my temper (from time to time) and be reasonable as mush as possible. I know its a process that I need to handle but I must champion to live a happy and less stressful life.

Well, maybe its time for me to shape up. And I thought, disciplining myself is the perfect ingredient in living a sweet life!

I’m so happppppy!Super haaaapppppy! Jumping for joy!!!!!

I was at UP this afternoon and guess what, I finally  got my grades in my three masters classes. Believe it or not, I got straight "tut!" Guess it!

True enough, nothing beats passion and dedication.At least, I will be leaving a promising and positive legacy at the College of Mass Communication before I embark on another journey called buhay OFW, specifically, buhay bruneiyuki! 

Of course, I owe all my blessings and success to God. And so I thank him. And my family and friends who have been very supportive of me. Super thanks!

And because I was so ecstatic, I celebrated this very overwhelming day by availing a Ceasars Salad at Wendys SM Fairview  while eating fries on the side and before going home,  I bought some goldilocks ensaymada and classic polvoron for my family! Celebration kung celebration!

So…All I can say is congratulations earvs for a job well done!

Last week was no doubt very tiring for me! Why?

1. I went full time in teaching because I had decided not to enrol anymore this second semester for my masters degree while just waiting for my working visa in Brunei.

2. As part of my grand, full-time, and profit-earning job, I had to talk 8 hours a day. That is because besides teaching two students in Makati, I had a new student to handle in Ortigas. He’s a US military staff.

3. Wednesday and Friday, after teaching my class in Makati from 10 am to 12 Noon, I had to immediately travel back to Ortigas and handle a class from 1 pm to 5 pm. This arrangement and schedule had totally put my patience to the unimaginable test!

4. To save time and effort for the tight week, I opted to just "bring" a home-made lunch especially prepared by Manang.

5. I had to eat my lunch for 15 to 30 minutes, no more and no less because I had to use the remaining minutes to make either games or drills for my student.

6. The traffic was so heavy! Sadly, I did not escaped the unbearable hands of the usual morning rush - the clogged roads and commuters flooding the streets! So, I was late last monday and tuesday in my 8 am class. How embarrassing to my new student!

7. Came wednesday, availing the services of the MRT saved me and helped me redeem myself from tardiness. However, I almost ended up having bruised arms, smashed face, and crashed bones (i guess) because of the droves of people rushing to get into the traffic-free public vehicle.

8. I had to adjust my lesson plan for the whole week because a new teacher was hired to handle the morning session of my student. So, I had to make sure that we don’t teach the same lesson for the same day or for the whole 240 hours.

9. I had to carry lots of papers and some books needed for my class. Honestly, It gave me the illusion of being very smart and professional! For the past days, I had embodied the image and character of a respectable "sir" of my class!hahaha

10. Again, going home was so tedious  because of the traffic in EDSA and Commonwealth. Thanks to some buses that either have a television (airing kapuso shows) in it or offer a "free" DVD viewing ( movies not yet shown in movie houses).

11. And on top of that, I had to wake up 5 am everyday just to be on time! The experience was so challenging for an insomniac like me yet I was able to manage and conquer it well!Cheers!

And so, to treat myself and have a respite from the excruciating days that had passed, I went out with my college friends namely Liza, Ces and Peluchi last friday night and It was such a blast. We had our dinner in an italian restaurant in Libis then bought three cup cakes from Gonuts Donuts to surprise our friend Peluchi who just turned 25? and had coffee talk at Gloria Jeans also in Libis.

Our chikahan session was overflowing with laughter that we didn’t recongnized time and all went home 3 in the morning. I suppose, this will be followed by another night out! Dapat lang!

And with that, after having tons of laughter, college days reminiscing, unveiling of love and career stories, and planning a tentative "out-of-town" adventure, I am now very much ready to face the coming weeks smiling, energetic and rejuvinated. Thanks to my friends Ces, Liza and Peluchi! I’m really looking forward to another get together and i wish our "out-of-town" journey will happen soon before I leave the country! Let’s see!

               It’s been a while since the last time i encoded an entry in this blog clearly because i have a lot of things to do and finish in school. Really, graduate school is so taxing and entails a lot of hardwork, focus and dedication.Besides reading "tons" of readings, left and right individual and group reports and seminar presentation add to the challenge of graduate student life. Plus, more research, research and research. In fact, for the past two weeks, literally i’m chained to my laptap finishing reports on my two major subjects - structuralism in media theory and a seminar presentation on utilization of educational manipulatives in my elective subject EDTECH 201. Fortunately, the presentation did well and i’m so happy and relieved. and as a treat to myself, i alloted one whole weekend doing nothing but watch movies, go mall strolling and sing ala-concert king in the magic sing. 

On the other hand, besides meeting tight deadlines in school, to support my finances, i’m writing scripts as raket and I also teach partt-time at ACFL (

Asian

Center

for Foreign Languages). It’s been two months now I’m teaching foreigners speak Tagalog and it is really fun. The feeling? Its like you’re being transferred to a different world where you talk to foreigners in english whie teaching them Tagalog. You really have to practice both English and Filipino especially in addressing student’s inquiry on english word translation to Filipino. Also  for the past weeks, my number of students doubled. Aside from teaching in Ortigas, i also service an expat family in

Makati

. And honestly, they are really accomodating and comfortable to be with. I don’t just get to share our culture and language with them but also, the joy and fulfillment of establishing a connection among them as my  students and friends. In fact, for the past days, they’ve been telling me stories of their experiences here in the

Philippines

especially adjusting to the "erratic" climate we have. And speaking of the "erratic" behaviour of the weather, one of my student was absent in one of our meetings. But beyond that, the challenging part of the job is making activities, drills and even examinations to gauge every student’s development in class. So i’m not just obliged to guide them answer all the activity books, make discussions, but more importantly, assure that they are learning to write and speak in Filipino. In that part, asking them to have simple conversation with Filipinos is the best way to build their confidence in using the language. Beyond that, Now i have realized teaching is like performing. In order for you not to bore your students to death, you don’t just have to explain and make discussions in a traditional way, but should also animate yourself, perform with your highest energy and make interactive activities each student can actively participate. Fortunately, i was able to sustain that approach up to now. I’m just thankful God has given a lot of energy and patience!

As the first semester rushes to its end, obviously, the down pour of final papers and reports is tremendously escallating to "unprecedented" heights. In fact, after finishing a tedious week, here’s another week to "make love" with the library! Of course, the easy and accessible internet has all the information i need however, i’m still loking at the credibility of the source of information and so i still pratice and maintain traditional research in the library. Honestly, seeing piles of books makes me inspired to study and do my best. And also, there’s this feeling of comfort whenever im in the library. Its like home for me. And goind back to my upcoming sleepless nights, to uplift my spirit and give the best i can be, i promised to treat myself after this semester - something that is relaxing and truly unforgettable.  watching a cool flick, going to ace water spa, plunging into a beach adventure even though summer is way way over, or even having dinner with friends and videoke sessions are just some options i’m looking at to treat myself. OH i forgot, since the christmas season is already fast approaching, going to divisoria, 168 or tiendesitas could be a great option to add in my "treat-my-self-list" or stress-busting activity.

However there’s one thing that will truly change my whole life that i want to share with all of you. Last saturday, i received an email from an ad agency (from

Brunei

) i had applied before the semester started. And fortunately, they are already asking for my immediate response if i want to be employed in their company. In fact, they have already given me a contract wherein everything is already clearly stated - salary, housing, company car, medical benefits, etc. They are offering me a position as a copywriter. Actually, i was already interviewed last april at Dusit Hotel where the manager and some of his assistants stayed. Its just that i’m surprised its been long since the time they got me interviewed. Then i found out, i was shortlisted during the interview and now they are considering me to be employed in their company. Truly, God’s hands work in miraculous ways. Maybe its just destined for me. I don’t know. If ever ill say yes to this offer, i would working with them for two years and if they like my performance, i will be extended. The catch, i have already agreed to work with them!

Now, the consequences. There’s a lot of consequences in saying "i do" to them. as my first move, i have already informed ACFL, the school i’m currently teaching part-time, that i will no longer be accepting students and i’ll just finish the remaining sessions. Though my declaration is not yet official, giving them a hint of possible resignation is kinda a sign of courtesy. of course i’m still planning to forward a resignation letter. and goind back to the consequences i have to face, well, since i’m currently enrolled in my graduate degree, i told the ad agency that i hope they would give me til october to finish the semester and file all the papers needed for LOA. Plus, i also told them that i need to inform my present employer (ACFL) with my situation.

My feelings are mixed for so many reasons. I’m happy but kinda afraid. I’m very ecstatic because just like my friend told me, this job offer is a big break for me. In my opinion, i’ve always love to work in an advertising agency especially now that i have experiences in scriptwriting for television . And also, i always want to unleash my creatvity in making a "copy" that is not only crafted to sell, but can be a form of an art or expression of my individuality. And this is the main reason why, without  batting an eyelash, after reading the contract several times and asking my father to check it, i immediately agreed on the contract.

My family is supportive with whatever decision i will make. In fact, they are more ecstatic than i am after receiving that email. WE see it not only as a blessing from God but above all, a unique experience that i can use all of my skills and make a promising career in the future. As they say, oppurtunities knock only once, so grab it. same with, strike while the iron is hot. Now, the feeling of leaving our country is daunting on me.

Right now, i’m overwhelmed with what is happening and what can possibly happen. One big adjustment i have to make is basically leave all my loved ones and friends as i complete the two-year work contract abroad. Of course i’m a little bit sad because of the thought living far from your family but the experience of losing someone like my mom did not only make me strong, but make me mature and independent in facing life’s challenges. With that, i know i can endure the obstacles and loneliness abroad. But of course, the way im seeing it, i will be totally adjusting in the first months, but after meeting my co-workers who are mostly filipinos and enjoying the culture, language and places of

Brunei

, i believe, i can get over the sadness. Focus and dedication are also instruments for me to survive in a foreign land. And above all, God will be with me as i travel the road of humility and happiness.

Another thing that i’m thinking is that i have to leave UP. i have to file an LOA considering that the head of the graduate school of the

College

of

Mass Communication

is prodding me teach in UP CMC. as for me, though teaching production classes and popular is one of my dreams, i think, i’m not yet "ripe" to do such thing because i’m still lack the knowledge and experience to do so. Three years of production work is not enough and is limited to television production. and with this venture of mine in the advertising world ( two years or more), after this, i  think i would be very confident to teach and stir the passion of my future students. And hopefully, if God will permit and if its not too much to aks, i would want to also have a scholarship abroad - either acting, directing or scriptwriting. But for now, I’ll take everything one at a time.

With all of these changes, shifts and transitions in my life, i have nothing to regret. After the months of depression (before the start of the semester) God is again directing me in another direction where I can broaden my horizon, share my talent and fulfill an unselfish dream. As I enter into another world, I know God will be by my side to give me strength, more love and focus. I cannot ask for more. So be it!

A star is born on June 18!

By Earvin Charles B. Cabalquinto

            Few days from now, to be exact on june 18, I’ll be turning 25! If I’m destined to die at age 50, this is my mid-life age which according to traditions, I should be celebrating my special day with a color motif of silver! And I thought, it should not just be the ordinary color silver, but rather, it should be metallic and striking to best represent the happiness and state of nirvana I’m having right now amidst all the obstacles I have surpassed for the past year! But since I’m not a believer of such tradition and I really deviate from the norms, I would like to celebrate my special day not only tied in the color motif but more importantly in a very extraordinary, unforgettable and quirky way! And how would that be? Well, I’m still on the verge of mapping it out! But for now, reflecting on the year that has passed and with the dawning of a new self, now that I’m turning 25, well, let me share the bits and pieces of my life that I’m really thankful, grateful and blessed about;

1. First, I’m very grateful having my ever supportive and encouraging family around me. They are my joys, my happiness and my source of inspiration that keeps me going and striving to be best that I can be. Moreover, they mold me who I am right now – god fearing, principled and very human. My existence in this world would not be complete without them, for they are the wind beneath my wings. Soar high Earvs!

2. I have a lot of super friends who really stood by me during my breakdown moments. And without them, I might have lost my spirit to move on, start again and be positive in life. Thanks to Liza and Pelucci for bringing back the happy face and optimistic self in me. They are my tissue papers and shock absorbers during the low and depressing chapter of my life. They have made me realize life has to go on and instill to me that I need to be strong to face life’s greatest challenges for there are more and extreme challenges to come. In fact, our get together sessions have helped me slowly overcome my anxieties and in way has become a therapy to totally trash away my fears and sadness in life. The Puerto Galera get away (with the mindoro sling, pasalubong shopping and long walks at the beach as the highlight on the fantastic adventure!) , the countless dinner and chikahan night out, the ace water spa bonding, and more to come, have truly strengthened, moved and changed my whole self. Now, I can be me whenever I’m with them: worry free and just me! Cheers to a wonderful and lifetime friendship! Of course, I would also like to thank sexbomb Joy and Joh for always being there whenever I need comfort and someone to share my problems with. In fact, they are my antidote to self-inflicted emotional drama. Even though we don’t see much because of their busy schedules, still, the string of friendship is treasured and we make it to a point that if given a chance to have a get together, we maximize it and make each moment of premium value. I have proven that Joh and Joy inside the block circle are my real friends who never left me especially during my melancholic and sorrowful state. I will never forget the picture taking moments during at one of our night out. Truly liberating! Also, I would like to thank Ate Ei for all the phone conversations and advices she shared with me. With that, I have regained my strength and relived a new found direction in life – a life full of hope and dreams. She has proven to me that nothing beats hard work, dedication and passion to reach one’s ambition and champion life’s trials. With that, I have found a model that I can emulate and get my inspiration from if I’m feeling lost and alone. And last but not the least, my perfect adviser, none other than, Elmi or Boogie – my problem absorber, me anti-insanity remedy, and my motivator to take my long overdue master degree. Elmi has taught me to be simple, humble and positive even if everything doesn’t fall into place. Since she knows everything about my career, she gives me the most idyllic and sound advises and striking words to jolt me in my “harassing” professional life. For that, from a cluttered past, now I’m enjoying a clearer present – a jovial phase and worthy path.  Also, thank you for prodding me to pursue my masters degree in UP, truly priceless! The laugh trips over the phone, the chit chats at Jolibag Philcoa, the tiring enlistment, strolls at UP with her Korean students, the SM north lakwatsa with Liberty and the upcoming Edtech class are just some reasons why life is so damn good and worth living! Thanks Elmi for sharing those wonderful moments! How can I forget the “nanlilimahid at namamahid” scene! They are my friends. They make my life colorful and meaningful. They make me strong. Moreover, they are God’s gift giving me all the reason in this world to appreciate life beyond what I expect. Without them, life is lifeless! And as I add another year in my age, I promise to keep them forever and ever! Amen! Also, i would like to thank my other "media" friends who stood by me! You know who you are! Big hugs!
3. I’m back in UP and its one of the greatest decision I’ve done after all the series of shocking, dream-shattering and life-changing events in my life. Actually, I’ve been planning to take my masters degree way back 2006, it is only now that I have the time and guts to apply and take all the time-eating requirements needed before getting into the program - the written examination and panel interview as proof of the said requirements! But now that I’m officially back in school, honestly, I’m very excited but a little scared because for all we know, the graduate program in media studies (Broadcasting) is very rooted to different theories or frameworks borrowed abroad. But then again, with a very open-minded character, I’m considering the program as a new endeavor where I can harness my skills in research and writing, be critical in what I produce as a writer and producer in the broadcast industry and not just creatively infusing cultural concepts with the market demands, and more importantly, as a stage where I can spread my wings and fly high as a media practitioner slash professor of mass communication. Honestly, I’m really eyeing a position in the academe because I really want to teach the young and uncorrupted minds, most especially guide and warn them, and also unleash a streak of vigilance among them to utilize media in a positive, useful and critical way. I have experienced the network’s culture and I don’t want them to experience that filthy and disillusioning television world. I just wish, banking on my dedication, passion and vision, I can successfully finish my master’s degree in two to three years time and eventually pursue a Phd in Philippine Studies with concentration on mass media (television). For me, this is the beginning of a trailblazing and meaningful journey! Now that I found my purpose in life – to acquire knowledge and share that knowledge to everyone - I won’t let anyone take it away from me! Wish me luck! Cheers to that!

4. Slowly, I have accepted the passing of my mom. With the help and support from my family, relatives and friends, I’m confident enough to say that I have bit by bit accepted reality. I know that whatever plans I may pursue in life, she would always be there to guide, strengthen and cheer me up! She will always be a part of my dreams and plans in life though physically she won’t be around, still, her presence will always stay here in my heart! I know she’s already happy wherever she may be right now, and I thank God for that. Of course they are times that I really miss her and all I can do is talk to her pictures, pray in front of her urn and include her in my prayers, but then again, I have to move on and be strong for myself and for the people around me.  Her passing taught me a lot of things: to fully understand the complexities of life, be more human and most especially, become closer to our dear Savior. True enough, everything happens for a purpose. What I am experiencing right now are just pieces of God’s master plan for me. So be it!

5. And lastly, I am very thankful because after all these years, God has never left me in misery and loneliness. Though I have had my share of problems, he really has helped me overcome those and made me a tough cookie. Aside from attending mass every Sunday and praying the rosary every night with my family, reading the book “A purpose driven life” everyday also has helped me a lot. In fact, I can really relate to the stories presented in the book that makes me reflect how blessed and lucky I am. There so much to complain in life (all questions bugging our minds like the overused why’s), but there’s even more we can do to trash all of those complaints and be productive and optimistic! I credit my co-writer Lea who is already in the States studying film, for giving me copy in 2005 at the funeral of my mom. Thanks Lea! I know, most people in my age encounters this so called “mid-life crisis,” a state of feeling lost and confused in what to do in life. I myself have been experiencing that up to this very moment. Maybe because I have expected a lot from this world I thought so comforting and ideal. Unfortunately, my perception of the real world has been cracked when I started working and earning money for myself while carving a career I have dreamed of. In short, I was disillusioned! It is only now that I’m again standing up and finding the direction I want to take. Here I am a freelancer of my choice because I really want to pursue my post-graduate degree. I want to have a flexible time so I can have the luxury to research and focus in my studies. But eventually, I would want to be back in the broadcasting industry and practice what I have learned from the academe- be more critical, independent and vigilant. For now, I’m just happy with my life –less pressured, more focused and with so much direction. Financial matter is another issue that needs to be addressed soon! As long as I’m with God, I have nothing to fear in life for he is my greatest companion, my best friend, my idol, my adviser, my navigator and my savior! For bringing back my joys and purpose in life, nothing I can ask more in this world as I turn 25! Happy birthday to me! Cheers for more laughs, dreams, and success in life!

On June 18, a star is born and waiting to be discovered. Witness as I present to the whole world a stronger, optimistic, and god-fearing me! Now, I am ready to face and embrace what life has to offer me! The past year has been a humbling experience! Cheers for more happy birthdays to come!

Last Tuesday, I woke up at around 9:30 AM not because I had to finish a script or whatsoever, but rather, I was very excited to catch the Miss Universe Pageant. Actually, I’ve been anticipating the extravagant show since the day Theresa Licaros, a Summa Cum Laude Broadcasting Communication graduate from the University in the Philippines Diliman, won the Binibining Pilipinas competition. Moreover, my hopes were very high for her because I could sense that she has what it takes to bring home the crown and make our country shine in the universe- beauty, talent, composure, and lots of brains! Also, I’m rationalizing on the possibility of someone “brilliant” like Ms. Licaros can possibly win such enormous competition. Unfortunately, she did not won the most coveted title however bagged the Ms. Photogenic award which was voted through the internet. Undeniably, this only shows how Filipinos are supportive of their “manok” or representative in any competition. Thanks to the backing and support from our countrymen!

Of course I did not spend the whole day reflecting on the outcome of the pageant. As the afternoon hit, I went to UP to process my medical and physical examination. Oh God! I’m feeling like a freshie again – inhaling the fresh breeze in the sunken garden, riding the ikot jeep and guess what, experiencing the tradition of mahabang pila. True enough, UP experience is not complete without the long lines and jeepney rides!

I immediately went at the infimary (infimatay for some) to have my physical and medical examination. There, I saw a lot of freshies, just like me, rushing to complete the admission requirements. Waiting in line, there I saw their innocent and “baka-malost-ako!” expression! Moreover, I heard lots of gossiping and sharing of thoughts tackling topics like what’s your course, from what province you came from, at what dormitory will you stay, and most especially the angelic courses to take and monster courses that one should avoid reaching or even exceeding maximum rule residency. Upon hearing these words, my undergraduate years started to flash back – the days of long walks and jeepney rides of going to our next class, the pig-out session in CASAA, beach house and even at mang jimmy’s (the only affordable place where you can have limitless rice), the group study and research with an overflowing chikahan session in the library (gen ref, filipiniana, and social sciences!), and most especially, the tambay and food trip gathering at any place in UP! I can’t deny that my UP life was so perfect and truly incomparable! Honestly, I did not just enjoy the education system in UP, but most especially, the culture – the matchless academic freedom, social equity and versatile system! Obviously, with that kind of love and inspiration that it sowed in me, here I am again, back to my comfort zone and in full circle to regain my strengths, harness my weaknesses and maximize opportunities! Finally, I’m back in UP and no one can stop me now. As for me, this is an adroit step yet concrete way in reaching my dreams of becoming a successful media practitioner. I am just overwhelmed because after some months of soul searching, finally, I have found my old self - positive, driven, and humble- and reincarnated myself back to where I really belong, UP kong mahal!

Actually, I did not plan to have my physical and medical examination at the Infirmary because honestly, I’m scared of the “bare all” type of physical examination. As I remember, during my undergrad application, I had my physical examination outside of the university because of such “fear” rooted from shyness to flaunt my “oversized” body. But now that I have a medium built body, I’m still afraid of the physical examination maybe because I’m not used to this type of examination – the doctor thoroughly checking every part of your body! Though yes a doctor will be examining you but the fear of doing that process together with some applicants is really embarrassing! But thank god, the doctor did not ask me to take off my clothes instead just asked me some questions. Maybe because I’m one of the last one he had to examine and his tiredness must had compelled him not to thoroughly examine my body. Thank god talaga! But then, aside from the physical examination, I also had my x-ray and dental examination. I finished at around 5 pm.

In addition to my examination adventure, the phase was light because luckily, I was with one of my future classmates in media studies also processing her physical and medical examination. Her name is Angel. She’s working in a shipping company doing PR. We almost spent our waiting hours getting to know each other (I got to know that she graduated in La Salle Dasma), sharing experiences in production (she worked in GMA for a year after before deciding to shift in a corporate setting) and also future plans ( I shared my plans of hopefully teaching mass communication and earning a Phd abroad)! In the end, we exchanged numbers and planned to take the enlistment on June 5 together.

After having a delightful afternoon with a new friend/ graduate school classmate and subjecting myself to such medical quest, I headed to Sentro ng Wikang Filipino to visit my friend and undergrad blockmate Eilene. Eilene, for everyone’s information has been working as a research assistant at the Sentro ng Wikang Filipino since we were college. In fact, with her innate writing skills, optimistic personality and passionate attitude, undoubtedly, she’s already considered one of the prime workers at the center – an editor of the UP Filipino Dictionary, literary books, and even grammar texts with some tutoring rakets on the side. Moreover, she’s been working with National Artists Rio Alma’s projects- traveling to some parts of the country to study and annotate each region’s culture, language and ethnicity- while doing administrative and academic works all in the same time.  Aside from that, Eileen is a breadwinner in their family. Superwoman di ba?

  The truth of the matter, I’ve been planning to meet Ate Ei (one of her moniker) for some months now whenever I have to go to UP, however, our schedule does not meet because she has a lot of work to attend to. So finally, last Tuesday afternoon, that long overdue plan was pushed through. And so, we met at the Sentro ng Wikang Filipino Office at around 5:30 PM. I guess she was editing a paper but just ignored it and chose to have a pre-chikahan session with me.

We planned to leave the office by 6:30. However, on our way out of her office together with her office mates, the rain started to pour heavily with lightning strikes on the side. We were just thankful because one of her officemates was fetched by her husband who owns a jeepney. We asked to just be dropped off at Vinzon’s Hall.

Unluckily, the heavy rain disrupted our chikahan session. Ate Ei and I did not take the jeepney instead we chose to get a cab to go to Philcoa. Obviously, we were both wet on our way to Philcoa to have our dinner slash kamustahan gathering. The streets were also flooded and lighting stroked so intense, and with these happenings, no wonder, the rainy season has officially started as the school year comes in full circle.

We decided to eat in Chowking. I ordered a lumpia lauriat while she had a beef wanton. Over our sumptuous food, we talked a lot of things.  After ordering a petite halo halo for both of us, we started to lay our cards. First we talked about her career at the Sentro and how she enjoys the privileges and skills she’s acquiring. Actually, I’m pushing her to pursue a teaching career in the Filipino department that other professors also tell her to. Secondly, we updated ourselves on our blockmates career. And lastly, together with the  heavy rains, lightning, increasing floods causing impassable roads, ate Ei shared her present relationship with a “heartthrob” guy  which is overshadowed by some priorities- like the demands of her career, and most especially playing the role of a breadwinner in her family.  I just advised her to check and balance her priorities. And as much as I wanted to throw follow-up questions, our conversation was interrupted by her mom’s call telling her that their place is already flooded and has lost power.  With that, we decided to cut our chit chat and decided to go home.

            With heavy rains and impassable roads, I was set on another adventure- my mission to go home! Just like any stranded person waiting for the rain to stop, there I was standing outside Mcdonalds Philcoa. I waited for almost an hour before I got to position myself and rode an FX! My new shoes were also baptized by the filthy waters in Philcoa! I safely arrived home at 9:30!

            In a nutshell, I have the luxury of time at the palm of my hands!  I am just happy with my life right now. At least I have the time to reflect on what I really want to do.  Going back to UP plus having real friends are just some of God given gifts. And so, here I am, fully charged in starting another fulfilling chapter in my life! Wish me luck!